I. 90% Done… Or 90% Left to Go?
Life has a funny way of messing with us. You hit a point in your grand transition — a new job, a new city, a whole new life. From the outside, it looks like you’ve got it 90% complete. But inside? It feels like there’s still 90% left. Turns out, all the heavy lifting was just round one. Now comes the intricate part — the foundation. And if you don’t nail this phase, the whole thing can collapse. That’s where I am now, creating an effective home base to grow from. No more band-aids. This one’s got to stick.
II. The Midlife Plot Twist: Discovering I Was Plugged Into “The Matrix”
I thought I understood midlife transitions. You watch the self-help videos, read the books, and think it’s just a clean swap — letting go of one life chapter and opening the next. Spoiler alert: that’s not how it works. My first go at “moving on” was a wreck. I discovered I was plugged into what everyone calls “The Matrix” — not just my job or friends but a whole invisible web of expectations I’d woven around myself.
The kicker? Once you pull the plug, you can’t just go back. So, like any sensible crisis-tackler, I relocated halfway across the globe, started a new business, and spent two years building a dream life. On the outside, it looked perfect. But inside, I was only 10% into what mattered. The external success felt like a mask, while I still had a mountain left to climb on the inside.
III. My Dirty Secret: Self-Flagellation as Motivation
Here’s the ugly truth: I used to (and occasionally still) run on dread. I’d throw myself into an artificial “do-or-die” state, fueled by sheer panic. It’s a cheap, short-burst fuel — burns fast, leaves you running on fumes. It worked…sort of. But I could only keep that up if I stayed completely busy-exhausted, and this conflicted with learning and recovery, so I had to take a closer look and… This time around, I’m learning about deliberate practice, a whole different game. Lots of collateral healing came from this single discovery!
Think of it like tennis. Hitting hard only works if you’re grounded and in the right place. Without a solid technical foundation, all the power in the world won’t matter, in fact it can be a hinderance. So now, instead of rushing in like a headless chicken, I’m taking a slower, more deliberate approach, focusing on the basics and building from the ground up.
Itis a strange paradox in life and in tennis, that if things are going fast, you are playing defensive, taking what is being served, and if things are going slow, you are the one creating the game in a sense and the difference is mere milliseconds. Intuition is a fancy way of saying you can read situations.
IV. Eating My Vegetables: Building a Real Foundation
This transition isn’t about glamorous, Instagram-worthy moments. It’s about the mundane, unsexy stuff — the foundational work. And that means tackling the hard things, the things I used to run from. Case in point: green vegetables. Thanks to my mom’s penchant for overcooking them into mush, I grew up avoiding them at all costs. But guess what? Foundational work means eating those metaphorical (and literal) greens.
We all carry little roadblocks from early programming, and until we address them, they’ll keep tripping us up. It’s not about winging it; it’s about consciously reprogramming what no longer serves us. It’s slow. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s necessary.
So, swinging for the fences without doing the foundational work is an advanced form of self-flagellation, got to do the boring and dreaded foundational work! Eat your damn greens!
V. Home Is Heaven, or It’s Hell — Your Choice
Recently, I got a reality check when I visited Casa da Rosa, a low-cost nursing home that looked like purgatory on earth. The smell, the faces, the half-living. It hit me hard: I didn’t want to end up in a place like that, a place that was only halfway alive. My dream home base needed to feel like heaven — a slice of peace and purpose in a chaotic world. A place of good food, good vibes, and stability.
Creating that kind of home isn’t just a roof over my head. It’s a testament to the power to shape our surroundings, to craft our little slice of heaven in a world that’s often too noisy and chaotic.
VI. Finding the Right Tribe: Community Isn’t Just Geography
I’ve searched far and wide to create this home — mountains, coastlines, eco-villages. And now, after all that, I’m back in São Paulo, seeing the city with new eyes. Each neighborhood is its own social experiment. And now, I’m being picky, asking, “Do I believe in what this community stands for? Can I build here?”
A real home base isn’t just about a nice spot to sleep; it’s about choosing a community that amplifies the life you want to live. Every day, every dollar I spend is a vote for the place and the people in it.
VII. Conclusion: Embracing Deliberate Practice, One Day at a Time
Here’s the reality — deliberate practice isn’t glamorous. It’s quiet, foundational, and often dull. But it’s the most important work, the stuff that turns those 90%s into a full, grounded life. The shortcuts lose their shine, the old habits fade, and what’s left is something you’re genuinely proud to wake up to.
So, for today, I know my purpose: keep fine-tuning, keep finding my home base, and keep walking that line between the 90% I’ve built and the 90% still waiting. If you’re on this same path, just know — you’re not alone. We’re all somewhere between “done” and “just beginning,” faking it ’til we make it.
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