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The Catalyst: When the Mirror Shatters

Change isn’t always a thunderclap. Sometimes, it’s a mirror shattering—slow at first, then all at once.



My first break came in the military. Losing 12 colleagues wasn’t just a tragedy; it was a cold wind cutting through the armor I thought I had. At the memorial service, I took stock of my relationship with the institution I had devoted my life to. In that moment, I decided I wasn’t going to renew my contract, even turning down a promotion and a rather healthy signing bonus to attend university.


That decision set me on a path that led to a moment of total alignment—where the effort I invested and the satisfaction I received finally balanced in harmony. But life doesn’t stand still. There comes a time when something happens to disrupt the balance, forcing you to question the bargain you made. Sometimes, like in the case of a divorce, the inflection is forced upon you. Other times, it’s whispers—a gradual erosion of fairness as the load you carry increases, often without acknowledgment or reward.


Years later, in corporate life, the mirror cracked again. I had all my irons in the fire—a project humming in every area of opportunity I could find, mentoring meetings with colleagues, and a life I thoroughly enjoyed inside and outside of work. Then came the curveball. My boss’s boss interpreted my calm demeanor as an invitation to pile on. A whole new role was dumped on me—one vacated by someone who’d been thoroughly unsuccessful. No continuity, no training, just expectations. When I asked if this additional load came with a raise or some form of compensation, he smiled and said, “Job satisfaction.”


That was my line in the sand. One quick call to my network, and I was transported to my dream role in Silicon Valley with a 75% bump in pay. A door closed, and another opened. Never be scared. Know your worth.



The Struggle: Uprooting the Programming

Here’s the thing: the world isn’t kind to those who question it. Most people operate on autopilot, trading effort for reward—a predictable transaction. But then there are the outliers: the 10% who lead and the 10% who sabotage.


The saboteurs are often disguised as leaders. They’ll encourage you to take on a disproportionate load because it makes their job that much easier. These are the vampires—masters of glad-handing and backslapping, who pile on the producers while partying with the schmoozers. This is the good ol’ boys club, manipulation disguised as praise. One quick way to determine if someone is a leader or a saboteur? Pay attention to how you feel when they leave the room. If you feel let down, drained, or undervalued, you’ve likely encountered a saboteur.


In both animal and human hierarchies, growth can disrupt established orders. When you step into your power and challenge the status quo, you may face resistance—not from malice, but from a primal instinct to preserve the familiar. Like a trail horse nipping at the newcomer attempting to overtake, this resistance is an attempt to maintain equilibrium.


But growth demands disruption. It requires stepping into the unknown, shedding the layers of dependency, and donning the “big-kid pants” of independence. This journey is not an anomaly; it’s a fundamental part of life’s narrative. Yet, the transition from pet to perceived threat—a transformation often misinterpreted by others—is not a story of conflict but evolution.


I experienced this firsthand in the corporate world, where endless hours and overwork were celebrated as badges of honor, even as they quietly eroded my self-worth. Society often rewards harmful group-think, glorifying the grind and perpetuating the idea that sacrificing yourself is the path to success. But it’s a lie. Identifying and replacing these toxic dynamics with presence and a focus on your personal mission is the cure. It starts by asking yourself a simple but powerful question: “Whose story am I living?” If the answer isn’t “mine,” it’s time to take back the pen.



The Turning Point: The Power of Paradox

Turning points aren’t neon signs; they’re moments of profound disruption that leave no room for denial.


For me, it was being handed divorce papers after years of unresolved conflict. I did see it coming—but not fully. The years leading up to that moment were filled with silent compromises, mounting tension, and unspoken truths. When it happened, the shock was undeniable, but so was the relief. I didn’t have to keep fulfilling a commitment that no longer served me or the people we once were.


That moment wasn’t just an end—it was a revelation. These upheavals, as painful as they are, mirror bigger truths: agency in life means embracing the hard choices continuously, not avoiding them.


The breakthrough came when I realized the solution wasn’t external—it was internal. Change didn’t start with a new job or a new plan; it started with me, right here, right now.


The paradox was clear: I am both the most powerful and least powerful person in my universe. This realization became my compass. It reminded me that leading with love—not fear—creates alignment. Love isn’t soft; it’s the steady presence that reminds you to honor your inner mission, even when others don’t understand your choices.


My private mission was becoming clear—to honor what mattered most, even if it meant disappointing others along the way.



The Outcome: Living with Presence

Leading with love isn’t about being nice—it’s about being deliberate. It’s about paying attention to how you move through the world, trusting that your presence here and now is more than enough and ripples into the future. Let that simmer for a bit, cuz its big!


Though self-improvement often feels solitary, it creates space for deeper, more meaningful connections—with yourself and others. It demands that we recalibrate our relationships, not with expectations of unwavering support, but with the understanding that change is the only constant.


New opportunities don’t feel like luck anymore; they feel earned. The more I invest in the moment, the more the moment invests back in me. And it’s not about reaching a destination—it’s about practicing presence, over and over again.


By showing up fully, I’ve unlocked doors I didn’t even know were there. And the best part? This isn’t magic—it’s a skill anyone can cultivate.



The Relevance: Your Rewrite Awaits

This isn’t just my story—it’s a map. If you’ve ever felt stuck, like life is happening to you instead of through you, know this: you can rewrite the script.


The process is messy, full of wrong turns and second guesses. But when you align with your inner mission—the one that resonates deep within—you stop reacting and start creating. You move from autopilot to author.


Here’s your first step: pause and take stock.


  • Write down one area of your life that feels out of alignment—career, relationships, health.


  • Identify the inflection points where small, unnoticed patterns might have set the tone.


  • Reflect on one decision you can make today to pivot toward alignment with your personal mission.


This isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress. And the best part? You get to define what success looks like for you.


So, here’s your invitation: pause, reflect, and rewrite. The pen is already in your hand, ready to transform the fragments into a masterpiece uniquely your own.

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