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Stop Competing, Start Cooperating:

The Real Game You Should Be Playing


Intense Young Man With Pickleball Paddle

Ever walked into a situation thinking, This is it. Time to crush it?Whether it’s a meeting, a match, or life tossing you a curveball, you're ready to rumble. Then suddenly—hold up—everyone else seems to be playing a completely different game. I’ve been there. More times than I’d like to admit. It took one game of pickleball to slap me with a lesson I didn’t see coming: Sometimes, it’s not about winning or losing. It’s about knowing which game you're playing in the first place.


Intense Husband Playing Pickleball with Wife

The Pickleball Wake-Up Call:

Let’s paint the picture: Me, my buddy Bob, and a doctor 25 years older than us. Add in his wife—an absolute “oopsie-daisy” type—she’s having fun, laughing, missing shots, loving every moment. Meanwhile, Bob? Bob’s acting like he’s going for gold at the Olympics, hammering every lob with everything he’s got.

Me? I just stood there. Something felt off, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Wasn’t this supposed to be fun? Why did it feel like we were competing for a championship no one else even signed up for?


Boy In Foreground With Elderly Men In The Background

When the Doctor Drops the Mic:

After the match, the doctor sincerely invites me back for another round, but this time, he brings in his brothers: a pastor and a lawyer. And man, these guys didn’t mess around. For the next hour, they played like it was the Wild West. I wasn’t getting hit with bullets, but the metaphorical whippings were just as brutal.


Then came the kicker. The doctor says, “I asked my brothers to go hard on you. I wanted you to see what real competition feels like.” And then he drops the wisdom bomb: “Racquet sports aren’t just about winning. There’s a social aspect most people miss. Sometimes, it’s about cooperation. The game’s already hard enough for beginners, you don’t need to make it harder.”


I also found out the dear doctor was a national tennis champion back in the day, and he and his brothers are scratch golfers. These guys were trained athletes through and through. But here’s the thing—they didn’t get there by playing 100% to win every single time. They got there by playing the right game, developing themselves and their partners with every match. I was invited back multiple times after, and every match was a learning experience.


Boom. Mind blown. I wasn’t just missing the shots—I was missing the point. It wasn’t about the score. It was about fun, fitness, socializing, and developing together. It’s about playing the right game!


Doctor and Boy On Pickleball Court With And Idea Lightbulb Popping Over The Boy's Head

Life’s Not Always a Deathmatch:

This got me thinking: How often do we walk around thinking everything’s a contest? At work, in relationships, even with ourselves, we act like life’s one big deathmatch. But here’s the truth—most of the time, it’s not about competition. It’s about cooperation.


Look at your life. How many times are you secretly competing when you should be collaborating? Are you trying to outshine your colleagues, keep score with your partner, or win imaginary battles with yourself? The game’s already tough—don’t make it harder by playing the wrong one.


Contemplative Boy With Pickleball Paddle

Check Your Game Plan:

So here’s the million-dollar question: What game are you playing? And more importantly, Is your style of play leading you to how you want to feel?

When I’m writing, coaching, or consulting, I’m in my element. Those are my peak moments. That’s when I’m fully in the game, loving every minute. But when I find myself grinding through things I hate? That’s when I know I’ve lost the plot. Am I playing the game I want to be playing? Or am I just stuck in the grind, chasing a win that doesn’t even matter? Own the whole damn thing—even the sucky parts—and make them as joyful as possible.


Boy Playing Pickleball With Joyful Expresssion

Optimize for the Fun Stuff:

Here’s the thing: Peak moments don’t just happen. They come from having everything else in your life joyfully optimized. For me, that means systematizing and scheduling the boring stuff so I can focus on what lights me up—writing, consulting, coaching, and volunteering. That’s where the magic happens.


But don’t get me wrong, the grind is always there. You just have to make sure the grind is working for you, not the other way around. It’s all about making space for those peak experiences, my dear fellow travelers.


Boy journalling in the woods near a lake

Recovery and Grind: Your Game Plan for Success

Here’s the secret sauce no one talks about: Recovery and the grind are two sides of the same coin. You can't have peak experiences without the proper balance of grind and recovery. It’s easy to think that more effort equals more success, but the reality is, without recovery, your performance suffers. Just like in sports, the harder you push, the more important it becomes to build rest and reset into your game plan.

If you’re always grinding and never taking joyful breaks, you’re going to hit a wall. Recovery isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a strategic move. It’s when your body and mind consolidate the hard work you’ve put in. Whether it’s hitting pause during or after a tough project, or taking a day off from intense practice, recovery makes the joyful grind sustainable.


Think of it like this: The best athletes don’t just train harder; they train smarter. They’ve got a game plan that balances joyful work with joyful recovery. That’s how they hit those peak moments when it counts. The same applies to life. Manage your energy like an elite athlete if you want to hit those highs without burning out. It’s all about having a game plan that includes rest, recovery, and deliberate pauses.


Exuberant Girl Pointing and Playing Pickleball

Ditch the 25/7 Hustle Mentality:

Let’s talk hustle culture for a second. The idea that you need to work 25/7 to succeed? Nonsense. Alex Hormozi might swear by it, but I’ve lived it. I’ve ended up in the hospital with pre-hypertension because of that mentality. And let me tell you, that’s not how you win.


The real game is sustainability. Showing up every day, loving the process, and not burning yourself—or your partners—out before you even get to enjoy the win. That’s the game we should be playing—not some endless grind that leads to nowhere but burnout.


Contemplative Boy Looking Over The Bay Area Sunrise

Play Smarter, Not Harder:

So, what game are you playing? Are you stuck in the competition mindset when you should be cooperating? Are you burning yourself out, thinking that’s the only way to win? Or are you enjoying the process, building up those peak moments, and playing in a way that serves both you and your community?

At the end of the day, life isn’t a constant competition. It’s about knowing when to push, when to cooperate, and when to step back. If you can figure out how to play smarter—not harder—you’ll realize the real win isn’t outworking everyone. It’s making sure everyone’s in the game—and having a damn good time doing it.


Boy Meditating With Bridge In Background

Ready to Play the Right Game?

If you’re done with the endless competitive grind and ready to start winning in ways that actually matter, join the conversation! Like, subscribe, and engage with me on social at @realwildginseng, or swing by my website at www.realwildginseng.com for more insights, strategies, and a few cheeky life lessons along the way. Let’s make sure we’re all playing the right games—and having some fun while we’re at it!

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